The Life I Left Behind
by shadowswaiting
Summary: She's changed. Ever since the accident 10 years ago, she's been different. Nobody quite knows how to approach her, especially her guardian. But what happens when the girl is forced to move? What happens when her life take unexpected twists and turns nobody could have predicted? What happens when secrets long kept are revealed? Possibly OOC...AU
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello, people! This is my first Divergent FanFic, so I hope you enjoy. I am open to suggestions you might have. Please read A/N at bottom.**

My entire life, I've been running. Running from my past, running from my fears, running from life itself. But wherever I try to hide, I am caught. Sometimes, there is good done when I am found, when the secret is discovered. Other times, I wish I could have been left alone to wallow with these feeling threatening to swallow me up. Is it too much to ask for a moment's peace? For just one, simple second when I can decide my fate, and it doesn't matter the other's opinions? Apparently, it is too much to request.

Some say my mind is weird, that it works differently than one would expect. But I would call my mind changed. Altered by things beyond my control. Someone took away the control I once possessed, and I'm still struggling to regain it. I try with all my existance, I try to possess that power over my life again, but life doesn't seem to allow it.

I've always been living in a shadow of the life I left behind, ever since that day that took my family away. I was only six, but the memory is still fresh in my mind, even after almost ten years. After the "accident", I was moved to live with our "family friend", Jeanine Matthews. I remember the day as if it were yesterday.

My parents, my older brother, Caleb, and I were driving home from our vacation during our autumn break in October. The truck came out of nowhere, speeding towards us faster than the speed of light, ramming into the side of our small van. Our small van reacted to the force by flipping and twisting over before coming to a painful rest in a ditch. I screamed the whole time, but I could only hear my scream. I couldn't hear my mom's or my dad's;I couldn't even hear Caleb's.

After that, the memories become fuzzy and not as defined. As far as I can tell, I was brought to the local hospital where any scratches I had were treated. There, Jeanine picked me up, and for the last 10 years, she has been my legal guardian. But what's happening now?

We moved. Moved from our cozy place in Florida into a small, confined cottage in Chicago, Illinois. Although I'd love to protest, say that I don't want to move, I can't. I haven't talked in 10 years. I've never even talked to myself.

My thoughts are interrupted by the door opening, and Jeanine steps in. I internally cringe. For 8 years now, Jeanine has been struggling with a drinking problem. Most of the time, she's drunk, and when she is in that state, she seems to think everything is my fault, and I should suffer for the problems in her life.

When I was 8, she first brought out the belt. In my little 3rd grader mind, I didn't even realize the trouble it would cause me if I screamed out loud. The cries of pain coming from my mouth only fueled her anger, and she whipped my harder. Currently, my back is draped in long white scars from her multiple beatings. Once again, my train of thoughts is interrupted by Jeanine clearing her throat. I discretely examine her. She seems to be sober, not drunk. Maybe she's only going to talk to me.

"Now, Tris," she begins in a stern voice. "I have a feeling that you don't want to be called Beatrice tomorrow on your first day of school." I wince for two reasons; one, I really hate my full name. It brings back too many memories. Second, I am afraid of society, but after 8 years of homeschooling to hide the scars and bruises, Jeanine decided that she would try to keep my "lessons" down to a minimum so she wouldn't have to bother with keeping me home. Seeing my grimace, she gives me a stern look before speaking again.

"Also," she continued after clearing her throat, "Most of my co-workers know I have a 'daughter' named Tris." She put air quotes around the word 'daughter'. "So, I want you to pick a different name to go by." I looked up at her in shock. She was actually letting me pick my name. I thought back to my past life, the one I promised Jeanine I would forget. I knew what I wanted. I looked up at her, and reached for my sketch pad. I grabbed my pencil and slowly wrote down the first words I have communicated in 10 years.

 _Six. I want to be called Six._

She looked at me and nodded. This was new for her. Usually, she would beat me if I wanted my opinion to be "heard". I wondered if she didn't want to damage me too much before school the next day. That would probably make more sense.

I knew she thought the reason I wanted to be called Six was because June 6 was the year I started fighting, and thanks to that-which was 9 years ago-I have an undefeated record among the fighting group I belong to. I honestly don't know why Jeanine signed me up to fight. Even though I am antisocial, i love fighting and beating my opponents. I think she signed me up because she was a fighter, and she doesn't want her image ruined (despite the fact that she has only beaten 2 opponents in 20 years of fighting) and wants to seem stronger through me. However, she constantly reminds me that she is in charge of me through her beatings.

But the real reason I want to assume the identity of Six is because six was the age my life changed. That was when my entire view on the world shifted, and when _my_ world was turned upside down.

 **A/N: Thoughts? First Chapter...was it okay? More of Tris's/Six's past will be revealed as the story continues. I hope you liked it and I will continue to write if I get positive reviews. If I get a lot of negative reviews, I will most likely take the story down and restart with a different structure, hopefully making it satisfactory for the people who don't like it. See you later, people! Also, does anyone want a fun fact each chapter or something along those lines? I will see what replies I get...**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello, again people. First things first...last chapter, I forgot to put a disclaimer! So, if you haven't figured it out yet, I am not Veronica Roth, therefore I don't own Divergent or any of the characters, but the plot is mine. So I will stop this rambling and get on with the story. Another A/N at the end.**

I wake up in the morning to a bright light in my eyes. I see Jeanine standing over me with a flashlight in hand.

"Wake up," she says gruffly. "Time to get ready for school." I jump out of bed, narrowly missing Jeanine in the process. She shakes her head and walks out, slamming my bedroom door.

I glance around my small bedroom, trying to find something satisfactory for school this morning. Not that I really care. My closet is hopeless. At most, I have seven complete outfits. And one is a black dress that I wore to 8th Grade graduation 3 years ago. I sigh and throw on an old black hoodie and some black skinny jeans. I pull on my black combat boots and quickly go into the bathroom. Last night, Jeanine set some hair dye in my bathroom, saying once again she didn't want anyone to know I was her 'daughter'.

Taking a closer look, I now see the color is black, just like the rest of my outfit. I also see some black eyeshadow and lipstick on the counter. What does Jeanine want everyone to think? That I'm some depressed emo kid? Maybe I don't talk (ever) and I haven't smiled in 10 years, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...does it?

Once again, I sigh and begin to put the dye in my hair. The grueling process takes me 30 minutes, and after putting on the eyeshadow and lipstick, I rush back to my room to grab my backpack (black, also) before trudging down the stairs. I race to the kitchen, where I meet Jeanine once more.

"Now, Six." She stresses my name on purpose. "I have already told the teachers that you won't talk, so you should have no problems there." She pauses before taking a deep breath and continuing. "I want to make one thing clear, however. I _do not_ want you showing anyone..." She looks at me sternly, "Anyone about your, um, lessons. Those are between you and I, so I don't really want word getting around about them. Got it?" I nod shakily and she seems satisfied, turning away from me once more.

The painful silence in the room as we eat is brutal, but soon, I am grabbing the keys to my black BMW I received when we first moved here. Transportation, Jeanine had said, but I knew it was all just a facade to make it seem like I was being treated well at "home".

The drive to school was excruciating since Jeanine had only programmed the car to play Bright Eyes-I seriously think she wants me to feel depressed-and the radio was disconnected. Without music, I felt like nothing. She had even taken my walkman away. I drove through the gates of my new school-Factions High-and wondered how I would communicate. I hated even writing things down-something Jeanine had found out when I was still homeschooling with her-and I would only answer in multiple choice questions.

Immediately, I walked towards the front office to receive my schedule. Looking at it, I saw I had lunch about halfway through the day, but unfortunately, my favorite class was last, and my LEAST favorite, first.

 _Six Matthews_

 _Locker Number 179_

 _Locker Code 10-3-18_

 _1st Period- History with Mr. Eric_

 _2nd Period- Art with Ms. Tori_

 _3rd Period- Trigonometry with Mr. Matthew_

 _4th Period- English with Mr. Robert_

 _5th Period- Lunch_

 _6th Period- Music with Ms. Tori_

 _7th Period- Language Arts with Ms. Susan_

 _8th Period- Chemistry with Mr. Matthew_

 _9th Period- Gym with Ms. Lauren_

I frown at my last name. Do I really have to assume Jeanine's last name? This makes it seem like I am tied to her in some way.

The secretary looks at me with a glint in her eye and says, "I called down a girl who has the same schedule as you to lead you around the school. She also has a group of friends who stick with her. Um, just be warned that she can be...tiring at times." She almost looks guilty when she says this. I start to nod, but I realize what this means. I have to make friends? I look at the secretary, alarmed, but she doesn't seem to see me.

I hear a joyous exclaim from down the hallway. I turn to see a mocha colored girl with dark brown hair rushing towards me.

She stops just inches from my eyes and exclaims in a very loud voice, "Hello, you must be Six. What a cool name. Did you choose it or were you born with it? I can see you like the color black. Hey, do I know you from somewhere? You look an awful lot like Tommy. Do you know him from somewhere? But your hair looks a bit different in color. Oh, well. Maybe not. I hope we can become friends. I love love love making new friends. You seem quiet, Why are you not answering me? Am I talking too fast again? That is something my friends say I have a problem with. No? Well, anyways I hope you can meet our group soon. I think you have at least one class with me, Marlene, Shauna, Lynn, Four, Zeke, Uriah, Will, Tommy-" She's abruptly cut off by the secretary, who looks less than pleased.

"Christina," she says sternly. "This is Six. She doesn't talk. You will be showing her to her classes. Please be mindful of her decision to not talk." With that, the grumpy secretary turns away to work on her computer once more. Christina looks at me, appalled.

"You don't _talk_?" She whispered, and I shook my head. "Wow. Well, that is okay, I think. You still need to meet our group." I sighed and nodded. There was no getting out of this one. All I could hope for was a chance to escape if things got too rough.

 **A/N: Okay, second chapter. Was it okay? I just want to say thank you to the people who have reviewed and followed/favorited my story. This chapter is for you. I also want to say I will most likely post a chapter every day/every other day for the next two weeks because I am on Winter Break. Here is the fun facts:**

 **About me: The longest I have read without stopping was for roughly 28 hours. If you want to get technical, I had a water bottle by my chair, so sometimes I would sip that. This was over spring break and I had a goal to finish reading War and Peace in less than two weeks (I made it in 10 days!)**

 **About the story: This story is mostly being played by ear, but i do have some plot twists outlined that will be coming up, and one major one. I will tell you when those are.**

 **See you later, peoples!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm here again. Thank you to everyone who is reading this, liking it, following it, etc. You really make my day. So here is chapter three. If there are any grammatical errors or discrepancies, please let me know, and I will fix them.**

I walk down the bustling halls towards History class, and I think I may become deaf by the end of the day. Christina's nonstop chatter makes me want to rip my ears out to shove them in her mouth to stop her talking. This is one of the few times I actually want to talk.

Finally, we reach my locker, and I try my luck at opening it.

"Um, Six?" Christina says. "Do you need some help? These lockers are tricky after all. I couldn't open mine for at least four days after we started school. Something about them makes me want to scream. They always get stuck at the worst times. I had 27 detentions last year from all the times my locker got stuck and I couldn't open it. And, I mean which teacher would ever believe it if I said, 'Oh, I was late to class for the 17th time because my locker got stuck again.' Hey, did you know that-" Christina's highly annoying voice is cut of by another, softer voice.

"Hey, Christina, remember what we said about overwhelming the new student, and that you shouldn't do it?" I turn to see another girl rushing towards us. Her blonde hair flowing behind her, she stops inches from Christina's appalled face and jabs a finger at her.

"Christina," the new girl scolds gently, "remember what we talked about yesterday? You need to give the girl time to settle in. I know you want to be friends with her, but please calm down." Slowly, Christina nods, and the girl removes her hand from Christina's face and turns to me with an apologetic smile. She sticks out her hand I tentatively reach out and shake it warily.

"Hello, you must be Six. My name is Marlene, and I see you've met Christina. Don't worry," she continued with a sly grin directed towards Christina, who gave an indignant huff. "Usually, the rest of our friends stop her before she can go too far with her talking." Christina's protests are effectively cut off with a glare from Marlene.

I nod hesitantly and begin to turn towards my locker again as the two start their banter again, only to find it slightly blocked by another door. I look at Christina and Marlene questioningly, conveying with my eyes my dilemma. They both immediately stop bickering and look behind me to see the parson blocking my locker. I hesitantly turn around too, but I find myself face to face with someone new, and by the looks of him, he isn't happy.

His blue eyes are stunning, like the stormy ocean, and find myself automatically comparing him to myself, wondering if I could beat him in a fight. I can see a six pack through is tightly fitted blue shirt, but I have one too, so it's not that big of a deal. I can see the muscles on his arms, but I've been able to flip people 4 times my weight over during some of my fights. He looks big, bulky like a football player, and although I am strong, I am lithe and speedy when it comes to fighting. Christina brings my thoughts to an abrupt halt.

"Ugh," she sighs. "Couldn't you look a bit happier about the new student, Four. She's going to be our friend, so suck it up and deal with it. I know you don't like the fact that she has a number name, but it isn't her fault. I mean, really. You are acting like-" Once more, Marlene saves us from Christina's ranting by placing her hand over Christina's mouth, effectively shutting off the annoying rambling.

Four grumbles a small apology to me before moving his locker door slightly so I could reach mine. I quickly shove my things in it and grab my things for History before turning back to Marlene and Christina. I roll my eyes at their sympathetic looks-I've never needed sympathy before-and together, the three of us begin heading off to class.

_~0~_

Coming out of English class, I run to my locker, hoping to get there for my lunch money before Four. I have a feeling he still doesn't like me. Luck seems to be on my side this morning, because just as I am leaving my locker, I spot Four coming down the hall with two boys who both have mocha colored skin. They're laughing and talking loudly, and I quickly rush off to the lunch room.

I grab a simple lunch, hoping I didn't spend too much to afflict some form of punishment from Jeanine. I hear Christina yelling my name from a small table near the corner of the lunch room. I practically sprint over to her, and I manage to make it in one of my fastest times yet. I really hate attention, and the entire lunch room's eyes are burning holes in the back of my head. It's about a thirty yard dash. and with my lunch slowing me down, I manage to make it in under five seconds.

There are several gaping mouths when I arrive at the table, but I simply smirk and sit down. Other than Christina and Marlene, there are four others already there, who are introduced as Lynn, Will, Shauna, and Tommy. Lynn and Shauna already look similar, the way their faces are shaped, the same smile. The only difference is Lynn has shaved half her head and the other half has been dyed a bright blue. Will smiles lightly at me, still probably bewildered at my speed and agility. Ever since I was young, I was always a very good runner and I could weave around things very easily. The boy who was introduced as Tommy looks at me for a moment with a confused expression on his face. He has light brown hair and blue eyes that look so familiar...but I don't know where they're from.

I smile shyly at their praise, but they look just as surprised as Christina did when it is mentioned that I don't talk. Already they're questioning me about why I chose not to talk, but after they began to question me, I shut myself down completely. It's become a natural reaction to Jeanine's beatings, and slowly, I come back to my senses.

"Six? Six?" Christina is waving a hand in front of my face, trying to get through my daze. I shake my head, clearing away the fog, and immediately, Will blurts out a question.

"How'd you do that? I've never seen anyone who can completely shut down their senses. I mean, you moved around like you normally would, but you just seemed hollow, like nobody was home." He rambles on for a few seconds more about my small 'panic attack' and it takes me a second to notice the newcomers at the table.

Two seats down from Will sit Four and the two boys that were with him in the hallway. Christina looks to see where I am glancing and says, "Oh, I almost forgot. Six, these are Zeke and Uriah," she points to the two mocha skinned boys in turn, "And you already know Four." I snort quietly and Four shoots me a mutinous glare, and I simply respond by staring him in the eye and glaring right back. Zeke immediately looks to me to see where his buddy is glaring, and when he sees the look of pure hatred that must be plastered on my face, he almost looks frightened. His eyes widen slightly, and he hastily turns away, gulping.

Uriah isn't so subtle about his fear, and quickly says, "Six, I know it's Four you are glaring at, but I just want to say that I'd like to stay alive please." I give him a slight nod, and notice the entire table is staring at Four and I, no doubt wondering what the heck is going on. I realize that this is like some challenge for authority, and I'm essentially challenging the leader of this little 'pack'. After a few more moments, Four's anger ebbs away into fear, and he, too, looks away.

The silence at the table is almost unbearable, so after looking at the clock and seeing we still have seven minutes left, I begin to eat my lunch again. With questioning looks, everyone else reluctantly begins to eat again. Christina leans over to and whispers, "I have a theory, Six. You, my friend, have a death wish." I snicker and nod my head in agreement.

 _So it would seem_ , I think.

 **A/N: Third Chapter. Wow… I hope it was okay. I am leaving for vacation tomorrow, so I won't update for a few days. Sorry for the wait and I hope this chapter was alright.**

 **Thank you to IceFire15 for reviewing Chapters 1 and 2 and to the Guest (All I Do Is Read) for reviewing chapter one. See you later, peoples!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Oh. My. Gosh. I has been forever since I've updated. I am so sorry! I will try to get better! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. Seriously, you all make my day! I've never really been encouraged to do what I love before, so even the simplest thong will have me smiling like a crazy person. Sorry for the long A/N. On with the story!**

Walking through the halls that day was timeless. My daze-like state continued throughout the rest of the day.

Before I knew what was happening, I was walking in the door of my home. It was only 3:00, so Jeanine wasn't home from work. I rushed upstairs, careful not to make a mess downstairs.

I shut my bedroom door and quickly locked it. I slipped my gloves out from under the bed and stealthily slid out the window onto the tree beside my bedroom window.

The woods outside my house made a perfect place to take out my frustrations. I found a thick tree a couple minutes away from the house and began punching. For several hours, I took all my frustrations out on the poor tree.

By the time I snuck back in my room, it was 6:30. Jeanine would be home in 2 hours after the bar, so it was best I went to sleep before then.

Lying on my old bed, and closed my eyes.

 **A/N: I know, it's boring. I'm sorry, this chapter in critical to set up for the next one. I am typing this on my phone, and it is nearly midnight, so I don't have time for editing tonight. I will try and post again soon. Bye, ya'll!**


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